Tuesday, October 17, 2006

A Long Overdue Bitch About T.F.L

I suppose it had to happen sooner or later...it was of course inevitable, the long overdue bitch about Londons famously shit underground system.Known Globally for smelling of piss, being 500 degrees hotter than the earths core, and being home to atleast 10'000'000 rats. With trains running later than the second coming of a number of messiahs that have break downs as often as your secondary school teacher.



Its in the squalid tunnells in the bowels of London that the Underground headcases run amock, take this guy for instance..



If he was standing in the street singing down a traffic cone I feel theres probably a good outside chance he would have been arrested, had not one but two wrists slapped and had his cone confiscated pending further investigation, however on the underground he is free to sing his nonsense song into the sharp end of a traffic directing device untill such times that he forgets the next line, passes out from a crack overdose, of simply gets the shit kicked out of him.
Then youve got the buskers to contend with...fret wanking tallentless bags of of not quite chords and seeping acne standing around the tunnells smiling appealingly at you whenever you walk past..and as if you death stare wasnt enough to put them off the scent of your loose change, some of them actually have the cheeck to move into your path and serenade you, which always results in an embarrasing scene as you actually feel obliged to explain to this apparent stranger brandishing a gitaur in your face that you are, infact, not carrying money...and more truthfully, even if you were carrying money, you would actually rather insert it coin by coin up your rectum than pay for the privelage of listening to their "ODE To the hippy bitch that smoked all my pot and ran off with a middleclass boy" then theres the preachers, the beggars, the people who loose it and jump in front of trains, the endless sitting in tunnells whilst the driver deliberates over which stop if indeed any hes going to take you to, the stations they close without warning and the customer announcements that sound like "laidies and gentlemen we have good service today" and get you all hopeful but actually say "ladies and gentlemen there are no trains today"...did I mention the rats??

Ken Livingstone we salute you...all this bullshit for the price of a day travelcard? and why not...

F!*K NO!!!!!!


Im not going on that ride

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Martin Gets a Mention



my boyfriends been complaining he dosent feature enough on my blog.
So with that in mind,ladies and gentlemen...the long suffering martin, he puts up with my somewhat unpredictable personality, plays beautiful piano, and does his very best to keep me happy and sane... give him a medal! he's gorgeous and hes earned it!
xxx!





see?..also I got a telling off because he hates most of these photos...oh well, guess you just cant win them all

Monday, October 02, 2006

The adventures of mushroom head


Mushroomhead is a freak of nature, hes obviously a mushroom, but he has a head...and he also has the misfortune of being a cartoon that untill now has only been available to an exclusive and select audience via e-mail due to me being lazy,he was first created over a year ago, and has had many adventures scince that have only been followed by the most dedicated mushroom fans,but now mushroom had makes his debut to the site in one of his more recent adventures MUSHROOMHEAD HAS A BLIND DATEI plan to download some of the moshroom head back catalouge in future so keep your eyes peeled! more Mushroomhead coming soon mushroomfans!!

pixel unicorn


the phones all broke at work leaving me a bit lost for somthing to do...and so pixel unicorn was created. look at his magical horn! woooooo!!!

Sunday, October 01, 2006

September Adventures


getting nose to nose with this ugly bitch.....£40


trip to the tate gallery to look at mindbogglingly dull works of art for a few hours only to find the veiw from the window more interesting...free (thank fuck)


train trip to the south bank...£5.00...being accosted by buskers .....72 pence guilt settlement


cocktails, champagne, swanky meal and sevral bottles of wine.......£160


waking up on the roof of your hotel.......pricelss

theres some things that money cant buy...and thats why I cant pay my credit card bills.
This is my virtual pet
it would eat your virtual pets
for its virtual fucking breakfast
adopt your own virtual pet!