A Long Overdue Bitch About T.F.L
I suppose it had to happen sooner or later...it was of course inevitable, the long overdue bitch about Londons famously shit underground system.Known Globally for smelling of piss, being 500 degrees hotter than the earths core, and being home to atleast 10'000'000 rats. With trains running later than the second coming of a number of messiahs that have break downs as often as your secondary school teacher.
Its in the squalid tunnells in the bowels of London that the Underground headcases run amock, take this guy for instance..
If he was standing in the street singing down a traffic cone I feel theres probably a good outside chance he would have been arrested, had not one but two wrists slapped and had his cone confiscated pending further investigation, however on the underground he is free to sing his nonsense song into the sharp end of a traffic directing device untill such times that he forgets the next line, passes out from a crack overdose, of simply gets the shit kicked out of him.
Then youve got the buskers to contend with...fret wanking tallentless bags of of not quite chords and seeping acne standing around the tunnells smiling appealingly at you whenever you walk past..and as if you death stare wasnt enough to put them off the scent of your loose change, some of them actually have the cheeck to move into your path and serenade you, which always results in an embarrasing scene as you actually feel obliged to explain to this apparent stranger brandishing a gitaur in your face that you are, infact, not carrying money...and more truthfully, even if you were carrying money, you would actually rather insert it coin by coin up your rectum than pay for the privelage of listening to their "ODE To the hippy bitch that smoked all my pot and ran off with a middleclass boy" then theres the preachers, the beggars, the people who loose it and jump in front of trains, the endless sitting in tunnells whilst the driver deliberates over which stop if indeed any hes going to take you to, the stations they close without warning and the customer announcements that sound like "laidies and gentlemen we have good service today" and get you all hopeful but actually say "ladies and gentlemen there are no trains today"...did I mention the rats??
Ken Livingstone we salute you...all this bullshit for the price of a day travelcard? and why not...
Its in the squalid tunnells in the bowels of London that the Underground headcases run amock, take this guy for instance..
If he was standing in the street singing down a traffic cone I feel theres probably a good outside chance he would have been arrested, had not one but two wrists slapped and had his cone confiscated pending further investigation, however on the underground he is free to sing his nonsense song into the sharp end of a traffic directing device untill such times that he forgets the next line, passes out from a crack overdose, of simply gets the shit kicked out of him.
Then youve got the buskers to contend with...fret wanking tallentless bags of of not quite chords and seeping acne standing around the tunnells smiling appealingly at you whenever you walk past..and as if you death stare wasnt enough to put them off the scent of your loose change, some of them actually have the cheeck to move into your path and serenade you, which always results in an embarrasing scene as you actually feel obliged to explain to this apparent stranger brandishing a gitaur in your face that you are, infact, not carrying money...and more truthfully, even if you were carrying money, you would actually rather insert it coin by coin up your rectum than pay for the privelage of listening to their "ODE To the hippy bitch that smoked all my pot and ran off with a middleclass boy" then theres the preachers, the beggars, the people who loose it and jump in front of trains, the endless sitting in tunnells whilst the driver deliberates over which stop if indeed any hes going to take you to, the stations they close without warning and the customer announcements that sound like "laidies and gentlemen we have good service today" and get you all hopeful but actually say "ladies and gentlemen there are no trains today"...did I mention the rats??
Ken Livingstone we salute you...all this bullshit for the price of a day travelcard? and why not...
posted by bornunder at 8:20 PM
2 Comments:
Right on sister!
There are few places less natural than the tube.
Hilarious thing is, they cram us on there and then make us pay for the privilege!
Don’t forget the people who cram on just as the doors are closing making everyone else that little bit more uncomfortable and then have the cheek to shout ‘move down’.
if you don't like public transport, learn to drive!
Simple!
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