Another astounding top ten from Bornunder
Today, top ten things I hate about my job
10. My boss is under the impression that he is a desireable,attractive,nubile young man and acts towards me as if this is, infact the case. he is infact a badly dressed balding arrogant middle aged tossbag with no ability to interact socially with other human beings without being condecsending
9. My co-workers vary between mind blowingly dull shades of grey to suffering hyperactivity attention defecit disorder, with no pleasing middle ground in between
8. Ive been working there several weeks, the directors desk is less than four feet away from me and he is clearly visible to me from my desk,as I am him. He knows this yet he has not yet had the decency or good manners to introduce himself to me.
7.I have recently discovered that although my male colleauges are doing exactly the same job as me, I am getting paid around 2-4 grand a year less than them. A revelation which further supports my earlier theroy that my boss is infact a shameless chauvanistic swine who is under the very false impression that female time is less valuble than the male equivalent. However, the machismo loving pillock running the recruitment process has unwittingly hired a bunch of girls,as despite being the only female member of a 7 strong team I am still the only person in the office who does not wear pink to work on a regular basis.which leads me nicely on to number 6...
6.All the blokes (and I use the word blokes in its loosest possible terms)I work with wear pink/lilac/powder blue shirt and tie combos on a near daily basis, and spend most of the day arguing amongst themselves over wether it is acceptable for straight men to wear such girly colours, I am of course disqaulified from this conversation as screaming in their faces "YOU LOOK LIKE A TRANNY IN A WIND TUNNEL YOU FAT SACK OF SHIT" ruins everyones fun.
5.My fellow staff are under the impression that the very essence of hilarity is logging onto computers using other each others user accounts to send obscene e-mails under assumed identities which usually contain graphic speculations about which employees are currently performing homosexual acts on each other in the carpark. They all complain about this, and yet none have the good sense to change their password to prevent a re-occourence.
4.It takes me over an hour to commute there in the morning, I usually have to stand for around 20 minutes in the pissing rain and cold surrounded by grumpy fuckers who also dont want to go to work,I can NEVER get a seat, I have to get a train and a bus and walk for half an hour to get to work come rain wind or shine, but if I am late by a fraction of a second, Im hauled up for a disciplineary.
3.My managers idea of building team morale is forcing us into doing compulsary unpaid overtime every day to give us ample oppertunity to spend more time in each others company so we can learn to despise each other that little bit more with every second that passes.
2.I hate most of my fellow team members, the people who surround me for over 9 out of every 24 hours whom I am in constant and unavoidable contact with are tossers of the very highest order.
1.every second I spend there is a second I could spend doing somthing less soul destroying than working all day for a lesser wage than my male colleauges who I hate, lining the pockets of a company director who cant even be arsed to walk four feet accross the room and introduce himself to me.
10. My boss is under the impression that he is a desireable,attractive,nubile young man and acts towards me as if this is, infact the case. he is infact a badly dressed balding arrogant middle aged tossbag with no ability to interact socially with other human beings without being condecsending
9. My co-workers vary between mind blowingly dull shades of grey to suffering hyperactivity attention defecit disorder, with no pleasing middle ground in between
8. Ive been working there several weeks, the directors desk is less than four feet away from me and he is clearly visible to me from my desk,as I am him. He knows this yet he has not yet had the decency or good manners to introduce himself to me.
7.I have recently discovered that although my male colleauges are doing exactly the same job as me, I am getting paid around 2-4 grand a year less than them. A revelation which further supports my earlier theroy that my boss is infact a shameless chauvanistic swine who is under the very false impression that female time is less valuble than the male equivalent. However, the machismo loving pillock running the recruitment process has unwittingly hired a bunch of girls,as despite being the only female member of a 7 strong team I am still the only person in the office who does not wear pink to work on a regular basis.which leads me nicely on to number 6...
6.All the blokes (and I use the word blokes in its loosest possible terms)I work with wear pink/lilac/powder blue shirt and tie combos on a near daily basis, and spend most of the day arguing amongst themselves over wether it is acceptable for straight men to wear such girly colours, I am of course disqaulified from this conversation as screaming in their faces "YOU LOOK LIKE A TRANNY IN A WIND TUNNEL YOU FAT SACK OF SHIT" ruins everyones fun.
5.My fellow staff are under the impression that the very essence of hilarity is logging onto computers using other each others user accounts to send obscene e-mails under assumed identities which usually contain graphic speculations about which employees are currently performing homosexual acts on each other in the carpark. They all complain about this, and yet none have the good sense to change their password to prevent a re-occourence.
4.It takes me over an hour to commute there in the morning, I usually have to stand for around 20 minutes in the pissing rain and cold surrounded by grumpy fuckers who also dont want to go to work,I can NEVER get a seat, I have to get a train and a bus and walk for half an hour to get to work come rain wind or shine, but if I am late by a fraction of a second, Im hauled up for a disciplineary.
3.My managers idea of building team morale is forcing us into doing compulsary unpaid overtime every day to give us ample oppertunity to spend more time in each others company so we can learn to despise each other that little bit more with every second that passes.
2.I hate most of my fellow team members, the people who surround me for over 9 out of every 24 hours whom I am in constant and unavoidable contact with are tossers of the very highest order.
1.every second I spend there is a second I could spend doing somthing less soul destroying than working all day for a lesser wage than my male colleauges who I hate, lining the pockets of a company director who cant even be arsed to walk four feet accross the room and introduce himself to me.
posted by bornunder at 7:29 PM
2 comments
