Ten uninteresting facts about London
1.Sitting on the underground for 40 minutes will do as much damage to your lungs as smoking two ciggarettes.
2.The O2 shopping centre in finchley road, owned and managed by the phone network O2 is about the only place in the whole of London where you cant get a signal on an O2 phone
3.The air is so polluted that when you pick...erm I mean blow your nose it comes out black, even if you dont leave the house.
4.If its late and your on your own, the best way to ward off potential muggers is to walk briskly down the street singing disney tunes at the top of your voice.
5.If you go out in SOHO and leave your drink unattended for more than a fraction of a second, you stand a 38% chance of having your drink spiked (I like those odds)
6.If you look carefully at night, a cheap tacky multi coloured rope light can be seen flashing all round the edge of one of the very top front windows of Buckingham Palace.
7.The hotdog sellers in the west end charge wait for it....FOUR FUCKING POUNDS!!! for a hotdog...without onions.
8.The trains on the docklands light railway are operated remotely and run without drivers...and if you dont know this before you get on you get scared shitless when the train speeds off with no driver.
9.Very very few bar staff actually know what a Cider and Black is...and look at you blankly if you ask for one.
10.The cheapest to watch and most entertaining thing in the whole world is when somone tries to jump on the tube at the very last moment and the doors close on them, squishing their Limbs.
2.The O2 shopping centre in finchley road, owned and managed by the phone network O2 is about the only place in the whole of London where you cant get a signal on an O2 phone
3.The air is so polluted that when you pick...erm I mean blow your nose it comes out black, even if you dont leave the house.
4.If its late and your on your own, the best way to ward off potential muggers is to walk briskly down the street singing disney tunes at the top of your voice.
5.If you go out in SOHO and leave your drink unattended for more than a fraction of a second, you stand a 38% chance of having your drink spiked (I like those odds)
6.If you look carefully at night, a cheap tacky multi coloured rope light can be seen flashing all round the edge of one of the very top front windows of Buckingham Palace.
7.The hotdog sellers in the west end charge wait for it....FOUR FUCKING POUNDS!!! for a hotdog...without onions.
8.The trains on the docklands light railway are operated remotely and run without drivers...and if you dont know this before you get on you get scared shitless when the train speeds off with no driver.
9.Very very few bar staff actually know what a Cider and Black is...and look at you blankly if you ask for one.
10.The cheapest to watch and most entertaining thing in the whole world is when somone tries to jump on the tube at the very last moment and the doors close on them, squishing their Limbs.
posted by bornunder at 4:57 PM
1 Comments:
For point 7 - You don't actually eat them do you?
Health and safety! What health and safety?
Post a Comment
<< Home