Another top ten from bornunder
this month....top ten bornunder "blonde moments"
10.When I well meaning ex boyfriend buys me a gift of a "lovley scented candle" bornunder lights it before getting in close and inhaeling deeply, hey presto, do it yourself sinus cauterisation.A trip to A and E later and the doctor reassures me the burning sensation behind my eyes, distortion of vision and the suprise nose bleeds will eventually subside.
9.Sitting listening to CD's at marks house for an hour or so..."did you get your CD player fixed then?"....
Evidently you fucking dipshit.
8.Bornunders place of work holds a two minute silence as a mark of respect for the victims of the london bombing...to signify the start the fire alarm is sounded for a short blast....Bornunder promptly leaves via the nearest exit.
7.Duped into beliving that crumpets grew out the ground like mushrooms for several months before dad carefully explained that you buy crumpets from a bakers, not a green grocer.
6.Driven all the way to an aquarium in Hull by her housemate as a practical explanation that sea horses are infact, not mythical creatures like mermaids and sea monsters
5.Got ran over by a paramedic..apparently when the lights flash and the sirens sound you shouldnt get in the way.
4.Tried to be intellectual when discussing the population of china and with colleagues,
Tom: "I think theyre only allowed one child per family there"
Bornunder: "well if you will put all those peopl on that tiny little island"
unable to understand why coworkers are sat in either stupefied silence or unable to speak with laughter untill reffered to a world map, would you adam and eve it its japan thats little, China is MASSIVE
3.(later that same afternoon)
Bornunder: "I want some water"
Tom:"I want some money"
Bornunder"I imagine water is easier to come by though, unless you live in madagasca or somwhere like that"
Tom:"yes mate, I imagine that in the tropical rainforests of madagasca water is fairly sparse"
2.On a plane to ireland in the early hours of the morning..
Bornunder:"dosent the moon look like its following us?"
Martin: "nope it looks like the white light on the wing is following us from where Im sitting"
1.Crossing london road on may to work, borunder has a sudden realisation and stops to check pockets...wakes up in hospital (again) to a familliar nurses voice quietly explaining to DR whoever that this is infact the very same girl who was in a few months ago after being ran over by a paramedic.
10.When I well meaning ex boyfriend buys me a gift of a "lovley scented candle" bornunder lights it before getting in close and inhaeling deeply, hey presto, do it yourself sinus cauterisation.A trip to A and E later and the doctor reassures me the burning sensation behind my eyes, distortion of vision and the suprise nose bleeds will eventually subside.
9.Sitting listening to CD's at marks house for an hour or so..."did you get your CD player fixed then?"....
Evidently you fucking dipshit.
8.Bornunders place of work holds a two minute silence as a mark of respect for the victims of the london bombing...to signify the start the fire alarm is sounded for a short blast....Bornunder promptly leaves via the nearest exit.
7.Duped into beliving that crumpets grew out the ground like mushrooms for several months before dad carefully explained that you buy crumpets from a bakers, not a green grocer.
6.Driven all the way to an aquarium in Hull by her housemate as a practical explanation that sea horses are infact, not mythical creatures like mermaids and sea monsters
5.Got ran over by a paramedic..apparently when the lights flash and the sirens sound you shouldnt get in the way.
4.Tried to be intellectual when discussing the population of china and with colleagues,
Tom: "I think theyre only allowed one child per family there"
Bornunder: "well if you will put all those peopl on that tiny little island"
unable to understand why coworkers are sat in either stupefied silence or unable to speak with laughter untill reffered to a world map, would you adam and eve it its japan thats little, China is MASSIVE
3.(later that same afternoon)
Bornunder: "I want some water"
Tom:"I want some money"
Bornunder"I imagine water is easier to come by though, unless you live in madagasca or somwhere like that"
Tom:"yes mate, I imagine that in the tropical rainforests of madagasca water is fairly sparse"
2.On a plane to ireland in the early hours of the morning..
Bornunder:"dosent the moon look like its following us?"
Martin: "nope it looks like the white light on the wing is following us from where Im sitting"
1.Crossing london road on may to work, borunder has a sudden realisation and stops to check pockets...wakes up in hospital (again) to a familliar nurses voice quietly explaining to DR whoever that this is infact the very same girl who was in a few months ago after being ran over by a paramedic.
posted by bornunder at 2:47 PM
2 Comments:
In the US... we got these things called sidewalks.....
You guys should look into it...
-khemie
In the UK we have things called paths... We call them this to confuse Americans... And blondes. X
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