Ladies Gentlemen and those that arent quite sure
I went out the other night to a local haunt of mine, Id decided I wanted some vodka and there was no discouraging me from the idea...then the most amazing thing happened...I met that thing of legends and mythology....that elusive creature, that I personally up untill that point I had suspected was entirely fictional...a real...live BEARDED LADY!!!
I will put my hands up, and say Im about as subtle as a car bomb when it comes to trying to be discreet about what must be a most unfortunate affliction, and God, if your reading this (yes my blog is that good) please dont see fit to land a plauge of stubble on me or anything coz I am a good person.I helped an old lady home the other night who'd forgotten where she lives without even stealing her pension.(I liked the warm glow it gave me,but not the scabies I caught from her manky cat)
Still I guess My wide eyed shock and loud drunk explanation of "FUCK MY ITS A LADY WITH A BEARD...AND THE POOR BITCH IS GINGER TOO,UN-FUCKING-LUCKY!! probably wasnt the best way to go about covering up the fact that I was trying to sneak furtive glances at this 40 stone ginger bearded wonder who had been unlucky enough to encounter me after ten sambuka chasers.
Still she was wondering round town wearing slipperes and a kilt, so I guess other people opinions of her apperance wernt that important to her, or she would of made an effort to put some shoes on (and as it late transpired, some underware)
Still, despite my outburst, and the subsequent hour I spent following her around trying to get an angle to see if tops and tails were truly matched she seemed happily oblivious to my amazment.When I asked her if I could take a photo for my website however as I intended to do a piece on furry faced females...I was asked to leave the premiseis by a large bald twat in a penguin suit.
interestingly he had a beard too...and large breasts....I sense a conspiracy.
I will put my hands up, and say Im about as subtle as a car bomb when it comes to trying to be discreet about what must be a most unfortunate affliction, and God, if your reading this (yes my blog is that good) please dont see fit to land a plauge of stubble on me or anything coz I am a good person.I helped an old lady home the other night who'd forgotten where she lives without even stealing her pension.(I liked the warm glow it gave me,but not the scabies I caught from her manky cat)
Still I guess My wide eyed shock and loud drunk explanation of "FUCK MY ITS A LADY WITH A BEARD...AND THE POOR BITCH IS GINGER TOO,UN-FUCKING-LUCKY!! probably wasnt the best way to go about covering up the fact that I was trying to sneak furtive glances at this 40 stone ginger bearded wonder who had been unlucky enough to encounter me after ten sambuka chasers.
Still she was wondering round town wearing slipperes and a kilt, so I guess other people opinions of her apperance wernt that important to her, or she would of made an effort to put some shoes on (and as it late transpired, some underware)
Still, despite my outburst, and the subsequent hour I spent following her around trying to get an angle to see if tops and tails were truly matched she seemed happily oblivious to my amazment.When I asked her if I could take a photo for my website however as I intended to do a piece on furry faced females...I was asked to leave the premiseis by a large bald twat in a penguin suit.
interestingly he had a beard too...and large breasts....I sense a conspiracy.
posted by bornunder at 2:37 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home