Voyage of self discovery (quiz, how long are you going to live)

Answer the following questions by choosing which statement is most applicable to you, noting the corresponding letter and refer to the statements to gain a rough idea of how many happy returns you may have left.
(based on no scientific evidence whatsoever other than that of my curious mind)

1:what ciggarettes do you smoke

a)health concious silk cuts, and then only socially
b)malboro lights/ benson and hedges or other such posho smokers mid strength cigs at a fiver plus a packet
c)a good old packet of egyptian imported hi tar c.monoxide specials at 30 pence for 600, With the filter torn off so Psyco steve at the local dosent think your a fucking puffter.


2:vodka is somthing best enjoyed in...?

a)chocolate liqures you get at christmas..and then only the one
b)with friends and a mixer
c)intraveinoulsy


3:When you wake up in the morning, how long does the racking chesty coughing fit last for?

a)0-3 seconds
b)3 seconds to 1 minute
c)all day

4:How much money do you owe to psyco steve at the travellers rest?

a)£0 or $0
b)0-£5 or whatever $ that converts to
c)over £5 for more than 24 hours

5:How do you like your burgers?

a)from organically grown cows not treated with pesticides grilled in a george foreman food de-flavouriser with salad
b)with chips in a bun
c)with 47 other burgers in a pile dripping with lard out of a three gallon bucket with no cutlery


ANSWERS:

MOSTLY A'S:
Your pretty much garunteed to make it past fifty, just watch out for that bus
MOSTLY B'S:
You like to keep things in perspective, although your lifestyle could be improved, you cant be arsed and you enjoy yourself, so if you make it past thirty..well done for managing it without being a boring fucker.
MOSTLY C'S:Time to take a long hard look at yourself for what you are...a fat drunk with a chesty cough whos in debt to a nutter.good luck to you