stupid customer enquiries

"good morning thankyou for calling ************ youre speaking to kirsty-anne today how can I help?"

following is a list of stupid responses to this question

"Im the director of a big company!I demands to speak to somone who's more on my own level of intelligence!!!"(I placed my headset on the team mascot, a bagpuss toy.....and left it there)

"I want to speak to somone about my problems"
the number you require is the smaritans,fuck off and leave me alone

"youre company is a shambles!!"
"you dont need to explain this to me I work here"

"hello I think this is the wrong number"
"you better hope it is coz if youve brought somthing off us,youve fucked it"

"hello I spoke to somone earlier"
"okay?"
"Id like to speak to them again"
"do you have a name?"
"no"
well we have roughly 20'000 employees would you like to just guess?"

and the best one yet!
"hi there Im calling from uuuhhh...ummm...oh shit I cant remember where Im calling from....can you help me?"

"PARDON?"