welcome back

Boss:"Morning,how was your death bed?"
Me:"im still ill,please leave me alone"
Boss:"well its pay day heres youre pay slip! and its good news!you havent paid any tax!"
Me: *open pay slip* "maybe not,but you have deducted £160 for me being ill for three days."
Boss "oh well,least you diddnt pay tax"

I have spent my subsequent working hours on the phone to recruitment agencies.welcome the fuck back to work.