welcome to "aircon world" please take a moment to read this simple saftey guide.
ladies and gentlemen you are now entering air con world.For those of you whom have been breathing normal air throughout the weekend,please collect your own bio suits and head to the contamination lounge for the contamination procedure.
will all pre contaminated personell please strategically position themselves in an office with an external air source.remember at all times sneezers and coughers should not partake in the use of tissues as this is strictly prohibited.
"Important"staff who witness the use of handy andys or kleenex should report immediately to a superior member of staff.
"Important" staff who arrive to work on monday morning who have recovered due to the inhalation of real air should not proceed to their desk untill all pre contaminated staff are in position in the infecting areas.
"Important"the use of vitamnins is also strictly prohibited as early indications show they can interfere with the carefully balanced contamintaion levels in "aircon world"
In the event of emergency please do not attempt to leave the building via the senic route.utillize doors where ever possible.do not attempt to leave the building via windows.You will find that this is not possible due to the lack of windows,any sucsessful attempt to utillize windows is virtual only and refers to windows 98 onwards.Windows packages are not a life saving device
"Important"using windows in a virtual sense will in no way provide air circulation in "aircon world" please do not rely on this as an air source,doing so may proove to be detrimental to your health.
The Exit procedure for "aircon world" is as follows.
under no circumstance should employees attempt to wedge open doors upon leaving "aircon world"
Please find under your chair a precontaminated oxygen cylinder,this should be used as an acclimatisation tool and not a life saving device
"Important"you must be aware natural light may cause feelings of elation,freedom and occasionally encourage physical reactions such as an uncontrollable urge to look around and blink.these are all the bodys perfectly normal reactions to being denied sunlight for lengthly periods of time.Please do not consult your doctor.
"Important"follow "aircon world" procedures at all times for a safe and happy work enviroment. and remember,any staff found to be ill with potentially fatal contageous disease should immidiately report to reception for redirection into an external air source office to ensure safe and even distibution to of airborne contaminee to all staff and employees.
Have a nice day.
will all pre contaminated personell please strategically position themselves in an office with an external air source.remember at all times sneezers and coughers should not partake in the use of tissues as this is strictly prohibited.
"Important"staff who witness the use of handy andys or kleenex should report immediately to a superior member of staff.
"Important" staff who arrive to work on monday morning who have recovered due to the inhalation of real air should not proceed to their desk untill all pre contaminated staff are in position in the infecting areas.
"Important"the use of vitamnins is also strictly prohibited as early indications show they can interfere with the carefully balanced contamintaion levels in "aircon world"
In the event of emergency please do not attempt to leave the building via the senic route.utillize doors where ever possible.do not attempt to leave the building via windows.You will find that this is not possible due to the lack of windows,any sucsessful attempt to utillize windows is virtual only and refers to windows 98 onwards.Windows packages are not a life saving device
"Important"using windows in a virtual sense will in no way provide air circulation in "aircon world" please do not rely on this as an air source,doing so may proove to be detrimental to your health.
The Exit procedure for "aircon world" is as follows.
under no circumstance should employees attempt to wedge open doors upon leaving "aircon world"
Please find under your chair a precontaminated oxygen cylinder,this should be used as an acclimatisation tool and not a life saving device
"Important"you must be aware natural light may cause feelings of elation,freedom and occasionally encourage physical reactions such as an uncontrollable urge to look around and blink.these are all the bodys perfectly normal reactions to being denied sunlight for lengthly periods of time.Please do not consult your doctor.
"Important"follow "aircon world" procedures at all times for a safe and happy work enviroment. and remember,any staff found to be ill with potentially fatal contageous disease should immidiately report to reception for redirection into an external air source office to ensure safe and even distibution to of airborne contaminee to all staff and employees.
Have a nice day.
posted by bornunder at 1:58 PM
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